St. George's Day and top five of ways that easyStorage might have been useful

Write about St George they said. And tie it in with storage, they said.

“Uh-ha” I said, doubtfully.  “Does it have to be serious?”

They looked at me with raised eyebrows as if to say ‘We’re easyStorage, and you should know by now that we are serious about storage, but we also know how to laugh.’

Relieved of the pressure, I started to think it through, and decided upon a little tongue in cheek St George’s Day blogging….

For those who are unaware, today, April 23, is St George’s Day, the Patron Saint of England. St George is also patron saint of Aragon and Catalonia (Spain), Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal, and Russia, as well as numerous cities, scouts, the military, farmers, field workers, horseriders and saddlers. But England is where most of the easyStorage franchises are, so that’s where we’ll focus.  

For those who don’t know the story of St George, legend has it that there was a dragon. In order to appease it’s desire for jewellery and eating people, villagers fed it with their livestock and trinkets. When this all ran out, in a kind of ‘Hunger Games’ event, they started to make a human tribute annually – a village maiden. In a somewhat cruel turn of fate, this seemed OK with villagers until it was the turn of a much-loved princess to be offered to the dragon. Saint George to the rescue, saves the maiden and kills the dragon.

So what’s this got to storage, especially as easyStorage wasn’t around in those days?

If it had been, here’s my top five of ways that easyStorage might have been useful in this scenario:

1. Armour

There are four mail types of armour: chain mail; lamellar armour (where some of the following were women together: small rectangular plates (scales or lamellae) made of iron, bronze or steel, laced together with rawhide leather, brigandine (iron rings or plates) and straight plate. These were bulky, although their actual weight is hotly debated, but around 25-35 kilos (about a fireman’s uniform in terms of weight and bulk). He would surely have had a couple (all the best dressed knights did!), along with the armour for his trusty steed.   Rather depending on the kind of knight he was, let’s assume he was special enough to have a room inside the castle, which he’d probably have had to have shared with another knight. With all that armoury around, what a blessing to be able to send it off an easyStorage van for safe keeping until next the next major crusade or event to bring it out for - and even delivered back to your door.

2. Princesses’ dresses

The order of the day for a princess in those times was long and luxurious, with lots of fur and silk.  Instead of keeping these beautiful fabrics in a musty, damp, rat ridden old castle, easyStorage could save the day by taking all out of season clothes off to be stored until the seasons changed again (clean, dry and carefully packed to avoid damage of course).

3. Tax returns

It’s safe to say that the King was collecting taxes, because paying them is one of life’s few certainties. No promissory notes, cheques or bank cards in those days. Imagine the weight of all of those metal coins. You could easily put some of that stash away in boxes for safe keeping for when you’re knights come back and want paying – or even a maiden’s dowry. And as there aren’t people wandering in and out of an easyStorage unit all of the time, a heist would be a tad harder than traditional self-storage.

4. Furniture

There’s nothing like a good banquet, but if the whole village is invited or visiting dignitaries from far off lands with all of their own knights, pages, handmaidens etc, extra furniture is called for. Of course, rotten kings might have swiped it all from passing peasants, but we’re supposing our King is a good one (my story, my rules!), so he buys his furniture from local craftspeople. And in order not to add to the tax burden (see above), he will, of course, want to save all of that extra furniture for reuse. easyStorage to the rescue again! (And they’ll bring it back for you in time for the wedding celebrations, since George and this princess will, presumably, get married and live happily ever after, depending upon the version you read.)

5. easyVan

And last but not least, in the princess’ or fair maiden’s situation, I might have done that ‘escape from the castle in a hay bail’ thing, smuggling myself out in a passing easyVan. Not much fun for the driver if he or she got caught smuggling potential human sacrifices out of the castle, but then, neither is being noshed by a fire breathing dragon! (Sorry team!) easyStorage won’t store living things, so sadly the storage units wouldn’t make a great hiding place, and as the easyPods are sealed there are some practicalities for living that can’t be met, but at least it would be an escape route.

You can find a commitment free, twenty-first century quote on safe, dry storage with easyStorage, who will both collect and return your goods, here: https://book.easystorage.com/

We promise the only dragon’s are the ones we watch on television.

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